To my in laws… who probably don’t understand this whole personal blogging thing, I apologize in advance. Some stories just have to be told, and sometimes, they aren’t able to be told in words, until there are pictures, representing grace, to fill in the grooves.
My mother in law died several years ago. Years before my children were born. She had a massive heart attack, and by the grace of God, it was inside the emergency waiting room where she was able to be revived. Temporarily. Until another one came just about a week later.
Steve was at work and called me frantically trying to explain the situation. The only words he remembered was the nurse telling him, “you might not make it here in time”. We agreed to meet at the hospital, about 45 minutes from each other, in opposite directions. We had no cell phones to talk during the drive. It was a very silent drive.
My husband adores his mother. He’s the guy that calls his mom at least once or twice a week just to say hello. To hear about her shopping events and what his parents have been up to in their retirement adventures. Not out of obligation, but because he genuinely wants to chat with them.
And all I could think of as I was racing up the parkway on the way to the hospital was, “please God, don’t take his mother from him, not now. Not yet.”
Growing up, Steve and his father were like oil & vinegar (sometimes, not all the time, but I heard stories from BOTH sides). His mother was the buffer of sorts. The loving hand that comforted the children when Dad had to be THE Dad growing up. No one enjoys the refinement process but it’s often necessary.
Thankfully, his mother eventually recovered from those heart attacks. And we often think about what life would be like today if the nurse was right. What if there never was a “Grandma B”?
Our kids adore their grandparents. They are their only grandchildren. Grandma B is even our dog’s favorite person on the planet.
Grandma “B” was there for them as babies, driving in once a week to help care for them while I went to work to help us save on daycare costs. She has special cookies that only a grandma has, and even the yogurt she buys is somehow special to our children. Always a surprise in her Mary Poppins type bag, she could pull out a grape and they would be overjoyed. Everything seems sweeter, and more special coming from her bag, or at her house.
Grandpa “BeBop” has a magic basement full of wondrous things. Each time they get to explore something new. He ties the shoes and shares his special airplane magazines. He teaches the lessons that only a grandpa can teach.
As we raise our kids, they are constant reminders of how we were raised. Suddenly a bad memory we may have had as kids seems like it makes perfect sense when you are a parent raising your own kids. Perfect. Sense. You look at your parents differently. Things you may have disagreed with as a teenager become a blueprint to what you will do with yours. With greater respect and with compassion for the past that you didn’t even know you lacked. Forgiveness isn’t even necessary because grace has already paved the way.
It was Grandma B’s birthday recently. Steve and I realized that we don’t have nearly enough pictures of them and the kids together. For our household, this summer has been spent being very intentional about the things we do as a family, and how we want to be raising our children. Focusing on our Family Mission Statement, and being very purposeful in our relationships with each other. And they had no pictures! Shame. On. Me. So on our way to her birthday celebration, we stopped for a short portrait session.
We often forget to look back and see how far we have come. We ask and we hope and we pray, but then we often forget to reflect back on what has been given to us. My husband has enormous respect and love for his father today, and the same for his mother. The opportunity for these relationships to be given this opportunity is an amazing blessing. As Steve and I were going through these portraits, it was a wonderful reminder of all that we have been given. That God has answered so many, many, many prayers and so many things that once seemed impossible were staring us right in the face. With authentic joy.
I don’t often like to think, “What could have been” but it’s hard not to looking at these portraits.
I’d rather think about “How far we’ve come” and “How lucky we are”. And how thankful we are that our children have these amazing people in their lives.
This is more than a “don’t forget to take pictures with your grandparent’s” post. I’d rather think of it as taking inventory of things you might be taking for granted and intentionally pursuing them. Giving thanks for answered prayers and second chances. For grace and humility, and the joy to embrace it all.
Thanks for visiting today!
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East Coast Fine Art Lifestyle Family Portrait Photographer Angelsea Urban
Angelsea Urban is a photographer and entrepreneur helping women use their creative gifts to nourish their homes and cultivate their businesses through practical stewardship. Her unique photography work focuses on Redefining the Family Portrait Experience by telling the story of family through personalized foundations while creating a space to strengthen family bonds throughout the experience. As a certified tax professional and seasoned business consultant, Angelsea has helped the careers of photographers, restaurateurs, musicians and general small business owners through teaching, workshops, coaching, and hands on consulting. Her ministry work focuses on fostering creative gifts in women entrepreneurs to prioritize family and discipleship. She has photographed for families, brides, Bravo TV, NFL Films, and more and has been featured on multiple blogs and magazine print for her work in photography and in business. Angelsea teaches and photographs throughout the United States, and resides with her husband of 17 years, their two children, and their barely 3 pound Yorkie near Long Beach Island, New Jersey.
To book your session with Angelsea Urban, please visit www.angelseaurban.com
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