Angelsea Urban | Urban Studios

Fine Art Lifestyle Birth Photography. <—Yes, to photograph the event of someone giving birth – artistically. I had not had the pleasure to experience this, until now. And oh my goodness…what an emotional ride it was!

One of the hardest and most rewarding shoots I have ever done. Ever.

My heart almost couldn’t handle it. The fact that someone would invite me to be present to document this story in their life, this most sacred moment in their family history, was just beyond amazing. I was so ready for the new challenge and absolutely terrified at the same time.

I couldn’t sleep for the entire week before hand. I had nightmares about sleeping through “the” call. I was worried about scheduling anything the week before or after her due date, because well, it could happen at any time. I had fears that even if I manage to make it to the hospital, what if I missed “The Shot”.  You know…the one with the new mom and dad looking joyously into each other’s eyes while holding their newborn baby? Yeah, THAT one. What if the lighting was bad? What if there is no room to get a good angle? What if someone stepped in front of me at the wrong time? What if I was unable to do the very job that they hired me to do? There are absolutely NO second changes. No “let’s just do that – totally raw an emotional moment – once more, mmmkay?”

ANNNND….. the mom to be – oh yeah….she’s a PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER! And a really good one! So the idea of being anything less than technically perfect, was not an option. I had put a TON of pressure on myself to deliver nothing less than my absolute professional best. While delivering the emotional story that was about to unfold, in an artistic and meaningful way.

After my fair amount of freakouts, I couldn’t help but put myself in her shoes. Remembering the time in my life where it was just Steve and I. Just the two of us doing life together. Struggling to start our own family; the joy I felt when we learned we were finally expecting, and then the complete elation of delivering that child. The moment that made us a new family. That God had blessed us with an incredible gift and responsibility for this innocent life. It was nearly 10 years ago that I was in her shoes. Waiting for her, my firstborn, my only daughter, to enter our lives.

So I pulled out of the driveway with “the Cups song” still lingering in my mind. My almost 10 year old daughter had recently become obsessed with learning it – and so night and day she had been practicing….and practicing…and practicing. I started driving and was thinking about how I kissed my 5 year old son goodbye while also tripping over his newly built Lego Truck of the day.  These little, imperfect moments are what makes life so perfect. How did I get so lucky? That I was chosen to be their mother. When I stop to think about it too much it takes my breath away. But it totally inspires my day and the work that I am about to do.

I drove the hour and 15 minutes to the hospital reminiscing of the day I became a mother. I was totally overwhelmed emotionally with the thought of now being able to witness someone else get to experience the same thing. I was in awe that I would get to be the one standing next to her when she sees her daughter for the first time. That I get to be the one that sees the look on her husband’s face when they look at each other for the first time as a new family.

I had practically quit this ‘birth photography’ movement the night before. I told Steve I can’t handle this kind of pressure. The –being on call, can’t sleep at night, waiting for the phone to ring, worried about lighting and c-sections and elbow space in the delivery room– kind of pressure.  That I would do this ONE and I probably wouldn’t accept another one. It was too hard. Harder than a wedding, and THAT is hard enough.

 

*sigh*

 

And then this happened. This precious baby came into this world. This brand new family was born. I heard the first cry. I saw the first tear. I witnessed a woman become a mother and a man become a father. I witnessed a mother become a grandmother. I saw and felt every emotion that make us precious and human and imperfectly perfect. I witnessed the miracle of life in front of my very eyes and a mere glimpse of God’s infinite glory. I was undone. I was totally hooked. And I don’t care how much sleep I lose or how many nights I would have to sleep with my phone on my face, I would do this again in a heartbeat. I would jump at the chance. What an incredible honor. And I can’t thank Amy & Matt enough for trusting me with the most precious moment in their lives. To tell the visual story of the day they became parents. And to give their new daughter a tangible legacy to hold onto with this photographic story.

 

After the long emotional day, I went home and tucked my kids in and kissed them goodnight. I hugged my husband and told him all about my day.

 

This life. I just…can’t…..even…..

 

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