In one breath he calls out to her, “DUDE – check THIS out” like an excited teenage boy yelling towards his buddy. In another warm breath, he whispers the details of his love, closely in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. Still. After 20 years together.

 

As teenagers they laid in grassy fields pondering life’s deepest questions together. They sat on cold autumn beaches and watched the stars each night.  Sharing thoughts and dreams and making big giant plans. With one color-changing comet, they knew their lives would never be the same. That they had witnessed something so special, and suddenly they were the only two people on earth.

 

She was a smitten kitten. Totally enthralled by his stories and the mystery surrounding him. Smitten and totally intimidated by the talent that oozed from his every pore. Writing, poetry, art, music, painting. They were all his to be used at his leisure, effortlessly. His smoldering gaze through puppy dog eyes were just too much. She hung on to his every word.

 

He would stare at her. ALL the time. Sketching pictures of her in his journal. Writing poems about her. Her eyes. Her hair. The smell of her skin. The way she made him feel. She was the tenderness he had been searching for. She was the light that chased out the darkness.

 

They fell madly in love.

 

A typical love story.

 

They raved and danced, studied and planned. They ate popcorn for dinner because they were broke. They feasted on steak when they weren’t.

 

There was angst. There was heartache. There was betrayal and broken promises.

 

There was trust. There was faith. And there was triumph. Eventually.

 

There was love. There were oceans of love. The truest kind.

 

And suddenly within a blink of an eye,  a whole lifetime had passed.

 

Twenty years.

 

“HEY BAAAYBIE” he now calls to her with a smug grin on his face. This time with a few new gray hairs in his signature goatee. He grabs her at the waist and draws her in. He kisses her forehead and smiles. Then stares deeply into her eyes. The intensity of his stare makes her giggle. Still. And she smiles back. They pause, as if having had an entire conversation in that moment, and then both take in a deep sigh.

It’s in that single sigh they tell each other how much they appreciate one another.  How much they love one another. How much they have missed them when apart for the day/week/hour/moment. How glad they are to see them again. Thanking each other for their companionship. Their tenderness. Their respect. Their passion. And their love. Remembering all of the things that brought them to this moment.

 

They reminisce about the past twenty years. Twenty. 7,305 days together. 10,519,200 minutes.

 

An infinite number of moments.

 

Small ones such as the sounds of the bass amp, facing down, on full blast, moving out of their first apartment. Or the giddiness on their faces when buying their first home together.

Or the glorious sounds of the morning doves sitting on the window air conditioner singing the sounds of daybreak. And the plot to remove their vocal chords.

It was in the smaller moments that made each day brighter. The floating watermelons in their pool. The tile spacers for the kitchen, the port –o- potty, flipper, and $.89 gallons of gas driving all day to a destination unknown.

 

But it was the bigger moments that began to define them. And their dependence on one another.

Loss. And the heartache that followed. Of family members, and of close friends. Of jobs and opportunities missed. The loss of the “ideal” natural progression in life. Marriage….children. The struggles of the transitions.

Harder moments tested their strength. Fighting for justice through patience and faith. Learning how to stand tall and firm, together, in the face of adversity.  Learning what it really means to trust someone else so completely.

 

Their faith was tested. Again and again. Through health issues and finances, security and relationships.

 

Then there were the defining moments that changed everything. In one single breath. A new kind of love that was uncharted. A new kind of joy that changed the course of their lives.  Forever.

 

She learned to depend on him in these moments. Not for instruction or guidance, but support and companionship. When her knees would tremble, he would be there with a strong arm to balance her. When her thoughts and words were scrambled, he would be there with a discerning ear to listen. To reassure her when confidence is thin, and to inspire her once again when life threatens monotony.

He learned to let go and inhale life. To trust her. To let his guard down and be completely vulnerable. To allow truth and light in. To express freely and to take leaps and risks together. To embrace the good, even if it comes with bad. To grow into the person that he was meant to be.

 

It’s in these moments both big and small that creates a life together. One of true companionship based on trust and vulnerability, respect and mutual adoration.

 

Just when they thought the teenage butterflies might have long since flown away, they notice the sweeping breaths of wind that shift and turn with each new day. Bringing new adventures with challenges and excitement.

 

Twenty years.

 

Is just the prologue to their love story.

 

There will be many more moments both big and small to come. There will be spilled milk days and there will be celebration days. And there he will be standing firm with her, as she takes him on their next adventure.

 

They didn’t pledge their lives together on this day. They merely began it.

 

And as he greets her at the end of each day, he’ll summon her with “HEY BAAAYBIE!” once again.

She’ll giggle… “yes, my love…?”

With a sarcastic chauvinistic tone, “What’s for dinner…woman?”

She rolls her eyes and smiles.

He walks towards her, work bags in hand. A tiny dog wags its little nub feverishly. Jumping up and down as high as his ankles…desperately wanting his attention. The children yell (loudly), “DAAAADDY! DADDY!” and come charging towards him.

He struggles to make his way towards the kitchen where she waits for him. Careful of not stepping on the ankle high jumping dog, he shuffles his feet across the room, as the children pull and tug on his clothes, bags, and the days mail in hand. As if pushing against hurricane winds, he pushes forward. The keys fall on the floor. The stove timer is beeping. The dog is barking. The children are yelling.

Finally. He reaches his destination. He grabs her at the waist and draws her in. He kisses her intensely. He smiles and stares deeply into her eyes. The intensity of his stare makes her giggle. Still. And she smiles back.

The children yell, “Ewwww”. So he turns to ‘git em’. They run…stomping as they flee.

~

(Senior Prom ^)

 

It’s not a perfect life…by far. But it’s ours. My best friend in the world, my true companion and my true love. Through thick and thin there is no one else’s side I would rather stand beside. There’s a wonderful peace that comes with knowing we will always follow where God leads us. In all things.

Thank you for staying true to yourself and teaching me to do the same. Thank you for  making me feel like I can do anything, be anything, accomplish anything. For making me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. The most loved girl in the world. For keeping me grounded. For your hard work both seen and unseen. And for the billion other things that make up the millions of moments in our life together.

 

Most of all, thank you for loving me, truly unconditionally. With so much grace.

 

And for your cryptic hand written note on torn loose leaf paper that you stuck in my locker 20 years ago today, asking me to be your girl. I am still a smitten kitten.

Happy (kind of) Anniversary my love.

With all that I am, I love you,

 Your wife,

XOXO